We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dignity is for republicans.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
