No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
