I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
