i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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