you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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