How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
