We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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