it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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