we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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