uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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