If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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