god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
