Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
