Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
