He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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