The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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