no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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