I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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