Swine flu. Run for my life!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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