I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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