smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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