I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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