just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
