hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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