To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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