Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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