She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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