In America we eat man semen.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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