Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
vagina is talking i cant
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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