hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
