I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
