Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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