who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
