someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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