This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
