Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
