I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
