Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
