i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
