i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
