We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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