dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
