just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
