Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
