just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
