My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The air was thick with penises
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
