you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
