im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
