okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am one with the molecules
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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