3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
