It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
false alarm. still invincible.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
