My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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