dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
