I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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