i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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