Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
