just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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