how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
