I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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