So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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