The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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