R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
